“There is no upside to not believing in yourself.” -Brooke Castillo
There’s also no upside to believing people don’t like you.
Byron Katie says: “When you truly love yourself, it’s not possible to project that other people don’t love you. I like to say, “When I walk into a room, I know that everyone in it loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet.” This gets a big laugh from audiences. People seem to be delighted at how easy it is to feel completely loved, and they see, if only for a moment, that it doesn’t depend on anyone outside.”
When we love, we feel loved. It’s got nothing to do with them.
Recently I mentioned experiencing, rather than fighting, negative emotions.
To clarify, I was not suggesting that wallowing in negative emotion is helpful (of course it’s not). What I was referring to is that the first steps of dealing with negative emotions are:
1) Actually feeling the emotion. (This can be very challenging for some people)
2) Not fighting against or trying to ignore the discomfort (which is commonly attempted through behaviors such as overeating, overspending, drinking, etc.).
3) Recognizing the negative emotion as guidance nudging you to examine your thoughts (emotions are always attached to thoughts).
Once you see the thought creating the painful emotion, you’re able to proactively question that thought and decide whether or not to continue to consciously think it.
“The most important lesson I’ve ever learned is that my thoughts are not reality–they are only my story of reality–and that any thought that causes suffering is a lie. That may sound simplistic, but I believe the truth sets us free, and that when our mind-stories coincide with truth, the feeling we have, even in times of sorrow or fear, is one of liberation, deep meaning, and peace.” -Martha Beck